Attention U.K. Cheese Fans!

Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine are making plans to play ONE CONCERT in LONDON, possibly in August or September.  The venue and date are NOT CONFIRMED YET, and TICKETS ARE NOT ON SALE (SEE BELOW).

Before we can make this show happen, WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Here are some things that we are trying to get sorted out...

1)  Work Permits/Visas - Since we're citizens of the USA, we need to get some sort of work permits or "certificate of sponsorship" or something like that.  This evidently involves a lot of paperwork which we simply can't do from the US.  We do not have a promoter handling this event, that's why we're stuck.  So, if you know someone in authority in this area, please fix it up for us!   If your established professional concert promotion company can be our "employer" for this event, let us know!  There are five of us (four musicians plus one sound guy), and we all have valid U.S. passports and plenty of CDs with which to bribe the appropriate immigration authorities.
THIS IS THE #1 THING WE STILL NEED HELP WITH.  WE CANNOT EVEN CONFIRM THE SHOW UNTIL WE HAVE THIS RESOLVED.

 

2)  Drumkit - Hey, we need someone to loan us a drumkit for the show!  Please see our specs on the SHOWS+BOOKING page at www.richardcheese.com, and let us know if you can provide what we need.  You'll need to deliver it to the venue by 12noon, and pick it up after the show around midnight.  We can't pay you any money, but we'll give you four free tickets to the show and Dick will makeout with your girlfriend(s) while you're setting up the kit.  Cheers!

 

3)  Keyboard - Same deal.  Gotta be 88-keys, high-quality piano-action keyboard, like an RD500.  And no Kurzweils!  Please see the specs on our SHOWS+BOOKING page at www.richardcheese.com .  You need to deliver it to us by 12noon and pick it up after the show.

 

4)  Upright Bass and Bass Amp - This one is tricky, because our bass player is picky.  Read the specs, and let us know what you can do for us...we can afford to rent a bass for about 100 pounds if necessary, but it's got to be PERFECT.  We also need a bass amp.  Please see the specs on our SHOWS+BOOKING page at www.richardcheese.com

 

5)  Insurance - The venue requires some sort of insurance for the concert.  I don't know what the hell they are talking about...do you?

 

6)  Hotel Rooms - Can you help us get five non-smoking rooms at a nice 4-star London hotel near the venue?  It's got to be clean, safe, and quiet, because Dick needs his beauty sleep.  We don't expect you to give us free rooms, but a discount would be fantastic.  The cheaper the rooms, the more drinks Dick will buy for you at the show!

 

7)  BBC - Do you know someone in charge at the BBC who will put us on TV or the radio?  We are available to perform live on the air Thursday August 9 if possible.  Don't tell us who to contact; YOU call them and get them to call us!

 

8)  Video Camera Crew - Can your video production company film our entire show with multiple cameras so we can use the footage in our forthcoming Richard Cheese concert movie?  Bring your cameras and don't charge us!  Thanks!

 

9)  Royalty - Can you get us in to see the Queen or some shit?  Maybe get us backstage at Big Ben?  Can you get Shakespeare to show up to the gig?

 

If you can provide a specific solution to any of these quandaries, please send a detailed email to lounge@richardcheese.com .  While we appreciate suggestions and advice, what we really need is ACTION.  So, please don't email me and say, "Why don't you play at the Reading Festival?"  "Or why don't you try calling the British Consulate?"  That doesn't help us.  Instead, we need YOU to call your UNCLE who sits in PARLIAMENT and have him PULL SOME STRINGS so we can get a FUCKING HARRIER JET to carry us to the gig!  Work it!

If you help us, we'll give you free CDs, T-shirts, and/or drinks.  So, thanks in advance for your kind support and assistance, and if everything works out okay, we'll see you soon!

Thanks,

RC

NOTE:  THIS LONDON SHOW WILL BE DICK'S ONLY APPEARANCE IN THE U.K. THIS YEAR!
Sorry, we are unable to book any more public concerts in Europe on this trip, please don't ask.
If you want to hire Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine for a private show, please visit the SHOWS+BOOKING page at www.richardcheese.com

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